Patterns....

I think it is so neat and just shows the amazingness of my God when He weaves patterns into my life. Patterns of the things that He is using to mold me, shape me, and painfully strip away the dross.
I have a lot of free time this summer as I am in transition mode. I have had great intentions to spend hours pouring over scripture and on my knees. But I have to admit, I am still several weeks behind in my Bible reading plan, I pretty much cram the 5 days of my Bible study into about 1.5 days. And prayer? Umm well that's another story. I have great intentions every morning as I sit on my porch with my cup of coffee, Bible, journal, and pen, but what is my motive behind this? Am I doing it because I HAVE TO or because I desire to spend time with my Lord?
One of my pastors put it so eloquently yesterday. He said that sometimes we view our time with the Lord as a lucky rabbit's foot. If you spend your time with Him in the morning than it is the magic potion needed to ward off a bad day. WOW! I do that so often! I also have been very guilty of viewing it as another check on the to-do list of the day.
The hardest part of spending time with the Lord is that there is no recipe for it. I am such a type A person that wants the quickest most direct route to each task and yet there is none for this. Each day is going to be different, but am I stopping long enough to glean or am I just bulldozing through the field?
One of the blogs that I read so beautifully put into the words the struggle that I have been feeling in regards to my time with the Lord
"There is a time for cozy blankets and journals. There is also a time for gut wrenching, soul searching on your knees, for joy unspeakable and peace unwavering and mourning with the ugly cry. Life is fluid, it ebbs and flows in cycles of busy and rest, crisis and joy. We have a Creator who knows about that swing. He set it into motion. He is not afraid of our life stages. It doesn’t hinder Him. He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love."

Thank you Lord that You are un-changing even when I am caught up in the chaos of each day!