Resistance Coupled with Fear

I still haven't made my decision or better yet God has not appeared in bodily form in the corresponding school's t-shirt and said, "Karoline, my child, I want you to go to........"
So I have really been struggling with fear about the next step. The process itself now looks like a piece of cake because well I was just completing the process. I wasn't moving anywhere, taking on more debt, changing my life drastically, and saying goodbye to what has been familiar for the past 8 years.
I didn't quite realize until the other day that the thing that was really holding me back was fear. I am soooooo afraid! The speaker at Caswell this weekend must have been told by God that there was a gal in the audience who needed to hear what he had to say... because well I felt like he was speaking directly towards me. The theme of the weekend was "Fulfilling My Purpose." Sunday night was about risk and the main point was that the foundational hope for all Chrsit-exalting risk takers is that God is leading us in a plan that He is controlling.
I'm off the hook!! God is in control, He is leading, I just have to follow! God knows the future, and I know God! HALLELUJAH!!!

I read an article today on Boundless about resistance in regards to stepping towards the future and this quote brought tears to my eyes.
"If you were meant to cure cancer or write a symphony or crack cold fusion and you don't do it, you not only hurt yourself, even destroy yourself. You hurt your children, you hurt me, you hurt the planet," Pressfield writes. "You shame the angels who watch over you and you spite God Almighty, who created you and only you with your unique gifts, for the sole purpose of nudging the human race one millimeter further along its path back to God."
As I read this I saw the faces of dozens of children staring at me, who I am supposed to impact, dozens of children who need someone to love them, believe in them, and teach them.

Now I just need to follow!! I'm praying that God will give me the courage to throw my fear and my resistance out the window, take His hand and allow Him to lead me into my future!